Conflicting Minds

No! This time it’s nothing different, the usual stuff….no complaints, no grudges, no excuses, no expectations. Over-excited when I know I’m getting what I always wanted. But yes, a fear of losing out on it and in the end not enjoying it. Be it interests, food, clothes, job or relations, it’s very difficult to stick to a thing that begins with joy and ends with pain. It’s just like sand that slips from the hand. Everything seems bright in the beginning, but you reach a stage where you tend to get saturated and want to just give up. It’s not escape, it’s mere freedom from things that you cling to and get used to. And when it leaves you, it takes time to recover from the distant chord. I wish had done so many things, follies, regrets and all that was said and done. Why did they even come into my life? I pondered over it and the more I thought, I felt it was useless and just go with the flow. It also brings nostalgia and memoirs of the times you wish you could re-live. A special feeling ...

The fact is about having joined the league of Singles is an exciting journey altogether. There is a sense of filling the gaps, and not being complete. Numerous flings, no strings attached and yet, looking for the so called “perfect one”. Having come across folks who have passed the test, shortlisted, but haven’t made it to the Oscars! Trial and error, experiments and mistakes-that have made us learn, grow, regret and re-construct better ways of getting through. It’s a lot more complicated now, juggling our priorities-home, work, family, friends, spiritual, social and personal aspects of our lives. A meaningful breakthrough, spontaneous, surprisingly that says, “Yes! This is the moment I was waiting for”. Mixed feelings that came across, had doubted whether it really was love, another dimension of it or just an attraction. Folks in and out of live, not matching your wavelength, lifestyle, age, culture and et al. A long list of looking for an ideal one still remains on the Schindler’...